Thursday, August 23, 2012

Instead of Drinking Beer

I have decided I am the Quality Control manager (to borrow a quip from my aunt) for Mike's home brew.  He makes it, I drink it.  I like this arrangement.

Alas, as QC manager, I suffer certain... side effects of my role.  Some are good - my assets are more pronounced, which Mike highly appreciates.  Others, however, are most unfortunate, like my expanded waistline.

Ergo, I must drastically reduce, even desist for a time, in my responsibilities as QC manager.  I love beer, but I love fitting into the clothes I already have.  I have a pair of really nice pants I haven't been able to wear since my mom in law gave them to me.  It makes me very sad.

Therefore, for my future reference, and hopefully for your amusement, I have composed a list of things I can do to diminish, or shut out, the voice of the home brew calling to me from the refrigerator.
Please note that this list will not involve movies or video games, as it is during those that I MOST want a beer.  Nor will it involve anything in the kitchen, because the beer is IN the kitchen...

Read a chapter in a book
Make the bed
Take a shower
Go for a walk
Go to the gym
Do free weights in my room
Write a blog
Write more for one of my stories
Rake the front yard
Harass the cats
Harass the husband
Read my Bible
Do P90X Yoga
Mend clothes
Do laundry
Clean the bathroom
Sweep the floors
File paperwork
Take a bath and read
Make a skirt for Ren Faire
Make a cape for Ren Faire
Scan wedding pics into computer
FB stalk
Blogspot stalk
Dye my hair
Draw on myself with a Sharpie
Give myself a manicure and/or pedicure
Listen to music
Flouride rinse treatment (b/c I can't eat or DRINK anything for 30 min after)
Call my mom, dad, or sister
Clean the car interior
Give the cat a bath

No comments:

Post a Comment