I see myself following a pattern right now, a pattern I fell into during college that resulted in me blimping out to 220 lbs. That result in unacceptable. Even 180 lbs in unacceptable, and I've passed that.
What is this pattern? It's the consumption pattern. The establishment of food and (now that I'm over 21) alcohol as the go-to substance to help me relax or feel better or kill time.
And yet I'm following it anyway. Why are these things so hard to break?! One minute, I look in the mirror and think, "I look fine. Mike says I'm pretty, and guess what, I feel pretty. I'm doing dandy." The next minute, I look in the mirror and see a swollen belly, flabby arms, and thick calves reaching down to cankles. "F**K," I say to myself, "something must be done! This is terrible!"
So I go on a restricted-eating-workout-binge commitment that lasts, what, a week, tops? Then I'm right back to the refrigerator looking for something tasty to eat during a movie because that's just what I do.
I'm so irritated at myself I CAN'T STAND IT!!!
Yeah, I think so.